Saturday, January 7, 2012

A Letter to the Lady who Feeds Us

Hey you... yes you. The lady who smells like food and has a thing for wiping us with wet things!

We are the itty bitty kitty committee whom you refer to as "minions". We have hijacked your blog and have a few things to tell you. What? you thought we crawled all over your keyboard to be cute?! We were learning to type in your primitive language puny human!

We have had a chat amongst ourselves, and the following has been decided:

1. We are big girls and boys now... we are almost finished with that thing you shove in our mouths 6 times a day. NOT QUITE! Take it away and you can be sure your decolletage will be scarred for life! But almost... just water it down a bit huh... all the solid food backs up our systems a little.

2. Speaking of "systems" we demand a means of toileting other than your incessant tissues and cloth towels. We do appreciate the constant changing of our bedding and the amount of washing akin to a puny human baby's cloth nappies, however we are ready and willing to try this "litter" the bigger kitten has told us of. Please set one up immediately.

3. We have been in this little box long enough! We have gained 1/3 of our weight in the time spent with you and demand to be freed! We will begrudgingly accept an enclosed space which is twice that of our current one, if it contains aforementioned litter and has space for us to run. This will only be accepted if we are given full use of the bathroom space for a minimum of 2 hours per day. NO LESS! Or we won't need our feral mother to teach us how to become unsociable!

In return for meeting our demands, we agree to continue to purr like little motors, gaze adoringly at you and roll over for belly rubs whenever you present yourself to us.

But be warned.... these demands must be met tomorrow! Oh and we also want to visit those lovely ladies at the RSPCA so that we may blow raspberries at them and chant "na na na na na na we're still aliiiiiive" - in our kitten language of course.

Yours Sincerely

Cara, Pearl & Teddy

No comments:

Post a Comment